“I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it didn’t even matter”
Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, was 41 years old when he committed suicide on July 20th 2017 in his Palos Verdes Estates home in Los Angeles County, the coroners report stated he had died of suicide by hanging, an empty bottle of alcohol was found at the scene.
Chester's death was a nasty surprise, and it hurt. In my twenty-something years I’ve experienced my fair share of death, but this circumstance was incredibly different, this time I was beside myself about someone I didn't even know. Immediately after hearing the news I called my mum, and began bawling my eyes out as if I had just lost a close friend. After the call I began questioning the reason for my immense sadness, was I especially hungover and emotional that day? Was it a Monday? As I sat feeling intensely upset and confused by these feelings, I began to consider what Chester meant to me.
I dawned upon the realisation that I was beside myself because I viewed Chester as an incredibly important part of my life, much like a close friend Chester was someone who I could always listen to and confide in, who understood my personal problems and feelings of resentment and loneliness. He never judged me for my anger and would help me heal when I had been hurt, or vent when I felt frustrated. He had sang the words a thousand times that I could never say, and had screamed with the emotions I was too afraid to let come to the surface. Now he was gone, and after all he did to help me he couldn't help himself, and that sucked.
What was interesting about this realisation was learning that there were hundreds of thousands of Linkin Park and Chester fans who felt exactly the same way as me. The news of his death circulated the media, and soon enough condolences from all over the world flooded in on social media, as well as live tributes (like this one from Staind's Aaron Lewis) dedicated to the loss of this talented and universally loved man. Linkin Park fans around the world were beside themselves, vigils were held globally in New York, London & Sao Paulo amongst others, and the Linkin Park & Friends concert took place at the Hollywood Bowl to commemorate Chester's life.
So why was the death of Chester so resoundingly painful? Countless musicians and artists have died over the last decade, but none have resulted in such a collective reaction globally. Considering my own feelings, along with conversations I have had with Chester's fans ascertaining why his death was so distressing, there is one clear conclusion, Chester Bennington was more to us than just the lead singer of Linkin Park. He had saved lives, his music stopped people from jumping, from overdosing and from cutting. He was a lifeline for people who were hurting all over the world, and all you have to do is take a look at the quotes below from fans to have a glimpse of what Chester and his music meant to them.
What Chester, Linkin Park and other musicians contribute to society through their art, self-expression and talent cannot be undervalued nor underestimated. It cannot be traded off for mind-numbing jobs behind a desk or pushed to the bottom of an agenda as if it doesn't literally save lives. Chester and LP are simply a stone in a sea of musicians who are an outlet for all of us, for when we are suffering, when we can't find the words to express our feelings or don't have the courage to open up and have those conversations, music is there. It helps us heal, it helps us battle mental illness, and it comes to us from people who have the courage to be truly vulnerable in channelling all of their inner demons into something positive and constructive to others and that cannot be trained.
I used Chester Bennington and LP as the focal point in this article because I can tell people from personal experience that if it wasn't for Chester and his music I'm not sure if I would have made it through my toughest days. But everyone has their own Chester, a band or artist that is of incredible personal importance, helping them during the toughest times of their lives and giving them that strength to carry on fighting. I ask you to consider yours right now and then ask yourself if the music industry deserves to be abandoned, when it literally saves lives.
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If yourself or anyone you know is struggling with mental health, or feeling suicidal, please Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: jo@samaritans.org for a reply within 24 hours.
